It is the age old question of all NBA fans from all generations across the wide globe and even under it: Why are the Spurs boring?
Think about it. Why? The Spurs can run, they showed that in the Phoenix series. They can score high, once again showed in the Phoenix series. They can adapt to different styles and play in all kinds of levels; be it physical ball with the Nuggets, finesse but quick with the Suns, or the 'ol bumping and grinding with the Jazz. The team statistics for the regular season are actually very telling; the Spurs is an extremely versatile team, and the statistics show that: They are at the middle of all teams in the league in points per game, I'm saying that they adapt to their opponents' playing style and beat their ass regardless. They have one of the best guard combos in the league when Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili play side-by-side; a very flashy pair in passes and quickness. The San Antonio Spurs are very good in everything. There is nothing bad about them. They own the basketball world, and is at the brink of capturing their 4th NBA Title in 9 years. So I have to ask this question again.
Why are the Spurs labeled boring? Why is it that the Spurs did not sell out a home game at this time of the year, in the Western Conference Finals? Why?
It's a mystery. However, I came up with four theories as to why the Spurs are labeled as boring; in hopes of easing the curiosity and the burning questions deep within every NBA watcher's heart. Let's take a look and see:
1.) None of the Spurs have any tattoo/s.
I don't know if anyone has noticed, but none of the Spurs have any tattoos. I literally do not see a single player from the active Spurs roster that has any tattoos (I don't count Melvin Ely, he doesn't play, and I don't count the peeping tattoo of Duncan unless he takes his shirt off). Heck, who knows? Bruce Bowen might have a gigantic tattoo of Tim Duncan up where the sun doesn't shine, but we're not talking about the hidden tattoos. We're talking about the image that the viewers can see from their television sets or through the internet. None, nadda, zip (save for the earlier stuff mentioned once more). Check out Matt Barnes, he has a load of fans. You can call him thuggish, dirty, or cheap, but never boring. Manu Ginobili can whoop Matt Barnes in 1-on-1 in a million ways, but I bet Matt Barnes will have twice as many ladies running towards him to wipe his sweat. But then again, we can't count out the exotic European twat.
2.) Their team color is too dull.
Coincidental? Their color is black and white. Everybody loves the gray area, but the Spurs just HAD to be black and white. Even the figure of speech 'black and white' refers to stagnancy and linearity. Great. Their team color is so dull indeed. On road games, they look like pallbearers running back and forth transporting huge oranges between two holes. It's hard to stay lively and cheer for the Spurs when their color forces you into a mourning mood. It makes me want to cry. In home games, the Spurs' white duds complemented with the black stripes make them totally disappear from your line of sight and makes you focus on the away team's players even more. It's like wearing a black shirt if you're fat to make yourself look thin; it's like wearing a horizontally-striped shirt to make yourself bloat if you're scrawny; it's like wearing a turtleneck to make yourself look taller if you're vertically-challenged. It's a different thing, but the concept is there. I'd still go for baby blue and apple green for the new Spurs uniform, no contest.
3.) The Spurs have no emotion.
Flashy plays and thunderous dunks. Yet, the Spurs are stiff in the face. Special mention to Tim Duncan, the captain that leads this Spurs force. Tony Parker is FAST. Manu Ginobili is FLASHY. Tim Duncan is UNSTOPPABLE. But the emotion Derek Fisher showed in Game 2 of the Jazz-Warriors series totally out-emotionizes the combined emotions of the Spurs' 'Big Three' this whole playoffs run. When Baron Davis stepped over-and-back in the dying seconds of Game 2, Derek Fisher threw his whole body and soul in a fist pump to celebrate the turnover; when Fisher hit the dagger three-pointer in overtime in that same game, he pointed both hands upwards in recognition of God and the high heavens. Come on, that single game actually totally out-emotionized the whole Spurs team this whole playoffs. Somebody scream out loud following a thunderous dunk, somebody show an angry face in the intense moments of the game, somebody WOO every other minute that passes to make sure everyone's heart is still beating, somebody shout "That's what I'm talkin' about!" every dead ball no matter who the possession points to. The Spurs sport zombie faces; something the fan-base wouldn't mind passing on when looking for a new fad.
It's basically planted out like this: Same old faces on the same old team doing the same old stuff and accomplishing the same old things. I was watching the Pistons-Cavs game earlier in somewhat of a sports bar; and a friend of mine had nothing else to say but his despise of another Spurs-Pistons finals. First, he screamed "Kalbo! (bald)"at Chauncey Billups after he made that big shot in the dying seconds to trim the Cavs lead to two; next he screamed "Umuwi na kayo! (Go home, screw yourselves)" at the Pistons when they were all but done; and then summed everything up by saying it has to be Jazz-Cavs in the finals, otherwise he'll have to watch a bunch of "lolo (grandfathers)" play in the NBA Finals, again. I'm sure a billion other people share the same sentiments. All in all, that was pretty hilarious.
Overall, the Spurs are practically the most beautiful basketball players you will ever get to know in your whole lifetime, but it's too bad the media doesn't buy pretty; because the world doesn't as well, and this is basically one of the greatest proof of all.
If you want to rant on some things or share your own contribution or reason as to why the Spurs are boring, just send me an e-mail and I'd gladly post it up.
Have a nice day Spurs fans.
Special thanks to Niño and TJ.