Why Are The Spurs "Boring"?
It is the age old question of all NBA fans from all generations across the wide globe and even under it: Why are the Spurs boring?
Think about it. Why? The Spurs can run, they showed that in the Phoenix series. They can score high, once again showed in the Phoenix series. They can adapt to different styles and play in all kinds of levels; be it physical ball with the Nuggets, finesse but quick with the Suns, or the 'ol bumping and grinding with the Jazz. The team statistics for the regular season are actually very telling; the Spurs is an extremely versatile team, and the statistics show that: They are at the middle of all teams in the league in points per game, I'm saying that they adapt to their opponents' playing style and beat their ass regardless. They have one of the best guard combos in the league when Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili play side-by-side; a very flashy pair in passes and quickness. The San Antonio Spurs are very good in everything. There is nothing bad about them. They own the basketball world, and is at the brink of capturing their 4th NBA Title in 9 years. So I have to ask this question again.
Why are the Spurs labeled boring? Why is it that the Spurs did not sell out a home game at this time of the year, in the Western Conference Finals? Why?
It's a mystery. However, I came up with four theories as to why the Spurs are labeled as boring; in hopes of easing the curiosity and the burning questions deep within every NBA watcher's heart. Let's take a look and see:
1.) None of the Spurs have any tattoo/s.
I don't know if anyone has noticed, but none of the Spurs have any tattoos. I literally do not see a single player from the active Spurs roster that has any tattoos (I don't count Melvin Ely, he doesn't play, and I don't count the peeping tattoo of Duncan unless he takes his shirt off). Heck, who knows? Bruce Bowen might have a gigantic tattoo of Tim Duncan up where the sun doesn't shine, but we're not talking about the hidden tattoos. We're talking about the image that the viewers can see from their television sets or through the internet. None, nadda, zip (save for the earlier stuff mentioned once more). Check out Matt Barnes, he has a load of fans. You can call him thuggish, dirty, or cheap, but never boring. Manu Ginobili can whoop Matt Barnes in 1-on-1 in a million ways, but I bet Matt Barnes will have twice as many ladies running towards him to wipe his sweat. But then again, we can't count out the exotic European twat.
2.) Their team color is too dull.
Coincidental? Their color is black and white. Everybody loves the gray area, but the Spurs just HAD to be black and white. Even the figure of speech 'black and white' refers to stagnancy and linearity. Great. Their team color is so dull indeed. On road games, they look like pallbearers running back and forth transporting huge oranges between two holes. It's hard to stay lively and cheer for the Spurs when their color forces you into a mourning mood. It makes me want to cry. In home games, the Spurs' white duds complemented with the black stripes make them totally disappear from your line of sight and makes you focus on the away team's players even more. It's like wearing a black shirt if you're fat to make yourself look thin; it's like wearing a horizontally-striped shirt to make yourself bloat if you're scrawny; it's like wearing a turtleneck to make yourself look taller if you're vertically-challenged. It's a different thing, but the concept is there. I'd still go for baby blue and apple green for the new Spurs uniform, no contest.
3.) The Spurs have no emotion.
Flashy plays and thunderous dunks. Yet, the Spurs are stiff in the face. Special mention to Tim Duncan, the captain that leads this Spurs force. Tony Parker is FAST. Manu Ginobili is FLASHY. Tim Duncan is UNSTOPPABLE. But the emotion Derek Fisher showed in Game 2 of the Jazz-Warriors series totally out-emotionizes the combined emotions of the Spurs' 'Big Three' this whole playoffs run. When Baron Davis stepped over-and-back in the dying seconds of Game 2, Derek Fisher threw his whole body and soul in a fist pump to celebrate the turnover; when Fisher hit the dagger three-pointer in overtime in that same game, he pointed both hands upwards in recognition of God and the high heavens. Come on, that single game actually totally out-emotionized the whole Spurs team this whole playoffs. Somebody scream out loud following a thunderous dunk, somebody show an angry face in the intense moments of the game, somebody WOO every other minute that passes to make sure everyone's heart is still beating, somebody shout "That's what I'm talkin' about!" every dead ball no matter who the possession points to. The Spurs sport zombie faces; something the fan-base wouldn't mind passing on when looking for a new fad.
4.) Old.
It's basically planted out like this: Same old faces on the same old team doing the same old stuff and accomplishing the same old things. I was watching the Pistons-Cavs game earlier in somewhat of a sports bar; and a friend of mine had nothing else to say but his despise of another Spurs-Pistons finals. First, he screamed "Kalbo! (bald)"at Chauncey Billups after he made that big shot in the dying seconds to trim the Cavs lead to two; next he screamed "Umuwi na kayo! (Go home, screw yourselves)" at the Pistons when they were all but done; and then summed everything up by saying it has to be Jazz-Cavs in the finals, otherwise he'll have to watch a bunch of "lolo (grandfathers)" play in the NBA Finals, again. I'm sure a billion other people share the same sentiments. All in all, that was pretty hilarious.
Overall, the Spurs are practically the most beautiful basketball players you will ever get to know in your whole lifetime, but it's too bad the media doesn't buy pretty; because the world doesn't as well, and this is basically one of the greatest proof of all.
If you want to rant on some things or share your own contribution or reason as to why the Spurs are boring, just send me an e-mail and I'd gladly post it up.
Have a nice day Spurs fans.
Special thanks to Niño and TJ.
22 comments:
Number 3 hits the spot. No emotion.
There's basically no emotional impact whatsoever when Duncan does magic with the ball. He plays well but playing well does not equate to exciting action.
exactly my point. thank you for your support.
Does eyes-bulging-out-in-disbelief-
that-I-yes-I-Tim-Duncan-was-called- for-a-foul count as an emotion?
"...they look like pallbearers running back and forth transporting huge oranges between two holes."
That is easily the most surreal image I have ever taken away from a sports column. And that gives me an idea - maybe *this* is how we can renovate the Spurs' image.
There are a variety of different 'personalities' basketball teams can have. There's the high-flying 'Showtime' team (Suns), the star-vehicles (Cavs, Lakers), the blue-collar brawlers (Pistons), the up-and-coming youngsters (Bulls, Jazz), and the various fascinating train wrecks (Heat, Nets, etc.). Now, the Spurs can't really fit into any of those niches - they play too much D, their star's too busy playing basketball to make T-Mobile commercials, and they're just too traditionally reliable. So howabout... the Surrealist Spurs!
Picture it: Oberto squares up for the opening tip, then pauses to shake a flock of doves from his flowing mane. After a particularly nasty spin-move to the hole, Tony just keeps spinning and spinning, up the tunnel and out of sight. Manu falls to the court as usual - and, on arising, screams out "I am reborn!" prior to tearfully hugging the opponent who bumped him. And Timmy? Timmy says nothing. To anyone. Ever.
It would work, I tell you. The Spurs just keep playing their own incredibly successful brand of basketball - but the first time Francisco Elson shows up to a press conference in the nude is the last we'll be hearing about the 'boring Spurs'.
Duncan has plenty of ink.
@rand: LOLZ funny stuff man. But I think the dark aura would only work in wrestling and cowboy movies, unless they really do allow the drama and the over-exaggerated sudden super power surge in times of trouble like in the cartoons
Man, even when Duncan is in disbelief from a foul called on him, his face still looks stiff than ever. I think he got a botox surgery on his face. If ever he makes a full-court heave to win the game in quadruple overtime to win the NBA championship in game 7 after being down 3-0 to the atlanta hawks, he'd still be stiff-faced
Well, as someone who lives here and has lived in many other real large cities, I can say the Spurs are boring because San Antonio is boring. The 9th biggest city in America? What a joke. It claims that crown because unlike most major cities, there is basically no suburbs. The city is more like a small town in the Midwest with the same attitude. I'm surprised people put down their bibles long enough to watch a game. San Antonio natives love to say that San Antonio is 10 years behind the rest of the country – and damn proud of it. Just listening to their pathetic "go Spurs go" chant says it all. I could go on all day. Teams really do pick up on the culture of where they are based and project that image in things they do. If they make it to the finals, be prepared for another dismally low viewer rating.
I have some theory on this respect.
Spurs are as boring as Italy to soccer, because they stick with a single (and boring) concept they are very good at and bring them championships: defense.
Spurs philosophy is about consistency and teamwork, which in general doesn't bring to the table single-man shows (Hi Kobe, enjoying the beach?).
Also, winning teams keep discussions inside the locker room. That's considered boring too. After all, people like TO, don't they?
And above all, Spurs personnel is accordingly hired to these standards.
well jyafink first off it's obvious you don't live in san antonio if you say we are the 9th largest city when we are actually the 7th largest city we over took san diego last year, or did you not get the memo!? san antonio is not a bible thumping city, we are a proud military city that people come to raise a family knowing their children won't end up dead on the side of the road of found in some shallow grave, san antonio is a safe city for families, and the spurs organization fits right in, they support san antonio just like san antonio supports the spurs organization, obviously you don't live here because there is so much stuff to do around here it's unreal, unless you are talking about being ghetto and hanging around the clubs and making trouble and looking for flasy night life and places where the fake people and the national papers follow people around to stick them on their front pages...no you won't find that here in san antonio they have tried but crashed and burned, people come to san antonio to blend in and not stand out, you wouldn't know anything about eva longoria unless they showed her face during spurs games, there are plenty of famous people that make san antonio home, tommy lee jones once made san antonio home until people and magazines started to follow him around, and for your information there are plenty of suburbs you just need to open your eyes! it's on the other side of 1604! what about alamo heights? it's smack dab in the middle of the city but you wouldn't know that with how snobby and posh the area is...i have lived in seattle and nyc, but as long as i have lived here in san antonio i have never heard anyone say that "we like to say we are 10 years behind everyone else and damn proud of it", that's just plain stupid, so next time you decide to disrespect my city of san antonio, learn something about it first because you made yourself look like a real fool to those who actually live in san antonio!
michael espinoza
san antonio texas
The Spurs are shy little boys who sit in the corner and do their business; hence, nobody notices them, and nobody even bothers, only until they do something big, like win a Title, otherwise, they're just "that kid in the corner". l33t!
just a little something for the author, your article was featured in mysa.com, here's the link:
http://blogs.mysanantonio.com/weblogs/courtside/
interesting article by the way.
San Antonio is a great city. It's fun to visit and makes a great place to raise a family. No I don't live in San Antonio, but I was blessed to be raised there as a child. I've lived many places since then - from Maine to Indiana to California - and most of the places have been great. But San Antonio is special - its culture, traditions and celebrations makes it unique. Oh, btw, if the Spurs were in New York or Los Angeles, the press would be calling them one of the great "dynasties" of basketball. But instead they represent San Antonio, a place most people just visit and enjoy instead of live. It doesn't matter - the Spurs organization has had one of the great runs in the history of basketball (i.e., the best record in professional sports these past nine years). And, yeah, I'll go ahead and say it: Go, Spurs, Go!
Rand, your post was just great, LOL.
The SPURS are boring only if you watch basketball just like you watch "World's most amazing videos" or "dancing with the stars". If you know the sport, it's never boring.
Just to make it clear: I'm not saying that Lebron's flights are not fun to watch, but also Harlem Globetrotters are less boring than any NBA team in that case. And you know what? They are more fun, a lot more... but that's not basketball.
My experience: Most of the people who I've heared that comment from are fat guys who never could make two shots in a row from the foul line (if they have ever playied the game) and the probably just like to watch the game on TV with some friends in the basement, drinking beer and waiting the opportunity to shout "WOW", "Did you see that??", "that just could not happen!".
Consiglieri
If WINNING is boring, gosh, I guess the Spurs are boring...
I have lived here 11 years, I'm 55, and I do have a family so there goes your theories. 7th, 9th, whatever largest …. these "suburbs" you cite are so small they don't matter. It's the total metropolitan area that counts. I've lived in Denver, Seattle, Minneapolis, San Francisco, and other places the media considers small markets. Sure, Denver only has 500,000 people but the suburbs around it contain about 2.5 million more. Same way with Dallas where the suburbs dwarf Dallas itself. Isn't Dallas about the 6th largest city? Can you really say San Antonio is close to the same size as the DFW area which is at least three times more populated than San Antonio? That's the point I'm making. If San Antonio was really the 7th largest metropolitan area, we'd also have pro baseball, football, soccer, hockey, etc… (and no, the missions and rampage I don't consider pro). As far as San Antonio goes, I've never seen so many religious fanatics in my life. They wrote the book on mega-churches. Just look around. Cornerstone? The one on I-35 sort of near the 1604 exit? They are all over. San Antonio is nothing more than a poor city with low paying jobs and a large amount of obese and uneducated people. That's not my opinion – it's a well known fact. How you can say San Antonio is on par, or even comes close to being at the level of Seattle, NYC, or the other cities I mentioned above is beyond shocking.
I was really amused by this, because these are some of the reasons I like the Spurs. I hate that thug look most NBA players seem to feel they must assume to play professional sports. Tattoos eveywhere, ugh ugh ugh. I absolutely despise the really gaudy uniforms of some teams; Phoenix, I mean, come on, those colors are ridiculous for a serious sports team. And all that ham acting out there ... a little deadpan is a relief after all that carrying on.
jyafink. obviously it's time you moved to a city you can like. And, btw, nothing you say is "fact"; you couldn't even get your main premise right (the ranked size of the city). I've lived in bible-thumping towns and this is most definitely not one of them. Furthermore, I don't think anyone said anywhere that we resemble New York City or Seattle - where'd you dig that up from? The turgid depths of your psyche? Time to move, buddy - you'd be no loss at all.
What really chaps my ass are all the people that say, "If you think San Antonio is boring, then you don't know good basketball!"
Are you freaking kidding me? That doesn't even make sense. Since when does good basketball equal boring or fun and exciting? I'm pretty sure good basketball means good basketball regardless of the whether it's boring or fun and exciting.
No one is saying San Antonio sucks or that they aren't good. To win (assuming they win this year) 4 titles in 9 years proves this. A dynasty? That can be debated. But overall a very good team.
BUT THEY ARE STILL BORING!! 7 out of the 13 lowest scoring games in NBA history involve the Spurs. Low scoring games are boring. The majority of fans agree to this due to TV ratings with teams that generally score low.
Another thing to mention as to why people can't stand the Spurs is the constant whining. Tim Duncan is the league's All Time MWP (Most Whiny Player). For someone who is arguably one of the most unstoppable forces the game has ever seen, you think he'd have some sort of on-the-court class when it came to referees and the calls they make. He gets soo many calls just for the simple fact the referees don't want to hear his constant whining. Every single time a whistle is blown, there's his sorry cry baby, bug-eyed, eyebrows raised face with his arms up like: What? Me? I did what? Are you watching this game? You know who I am? I'm Tim Duncan! God of all things that are and ever were basketball! You can't call a foul on me!! VOMIT!!! Give me a break with this guy. He will never ever be considered one of the elites by me and lots of fans for this very reason.
Spurs make me want to never watch basketball again, despite how "good" they are.
Stay classy, Dallas!
You know what? When it comes down to it, San Antonio doesn't care what you guys say or think.
I have grown up in this city and I've lived in other parts of the country, including Los Angeles, CA. Any city can be boring.
We'll keep winning, and we'll keep disregarding you... the same way you disregard us.
Spurs no emotion? I have at least a hundred pictures in my personal collection of Spurs celbrating in-game. Fist pumps, pointing, hugs, high fives, screams. Anyone see Francisco Elson in game one of the finals throw down that fast break dunk and celebrate with a greek war hero's "yelling at the Gods" stance? Or how about Fabricio Oberto getting an and one in gane 4 after a 2 minute, 4 offensive rebound possession, and Duncan coming over to him and yelling in his face in true jock fashion.
The emotion is there. People ignore it, overlook it, cuz they don't like to face the fact that the Spurs dominate the league right now. You people all just see what you want to see because the Spurs arent your team and San Antonio is not your city. Personally I think the whole basketabll world is on crazy pills calling the Spurs boring. If this same group was wearing Laker yellow or Knicks blue everyone would be saying that they are "The greatest team to ever play the game in the history of the universe, ever!"
Tim Duncan doesn't whime anymore than any other player in the league. everyone complains about foul calls! Why does Duncan get a bad rap? Most of the time he has a legitimate argument anyway, and if it actually is a foul, he usually raises his hand in agreement. The Spurs kick everyone in the NBA's ass on a regular basis and it's made them very unpoular, and we in San Antonio love it. You'll never hear the Spurs put anyone down either, they respect everyone, which makes the ass kicking even more sweet.
Yes i do understand why they are typecast as "boring". Face it all of what it says above is 95% true. Also because they just keep on winning, and winning. They haven't collapsed like alot of great teams do EX: Lakers, Bulls, Celtics. The fact thay when they win titles they just get it so easily with no emotions nor intensity. If the New York Knicks did what they've accomplished in this decade they would have already been immoralized! But it's in San Antonio. Which that sucks this team is so close to perfect yet they are the most underappreaciated. It's mostly the media, when they win a title it's just like whatevers. Us people wanna see action, intensity, and flashiness and it so appens to be that this one of a kind team dosen't have. And it will continue if they keep on winning if even more titles, because people are so use to seeing them winning. People wanna see new champions being crowned, or other big name teams like the Celtics. All we can do is appreaciate them for what they've done. They are a masteriece. I think the colors have least to do with it...i mean the Raiders are one of the most popular out there and they suck a nut.
C'mon Spurs fans, the fact that so many people think the Spurs are boring to watch, means just that, a lot of people, myself included, think they are boring to watch. We are not trying to change your opinion, we just think they're boring. I, for one, can't stand Duncan's bank shots, it's boring to watch a 7-footer jump 3 inches off the floor from 12 feet away from the hoop for half of a game. There's also a huge lack of alley-oops from this Spurs team.
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