Friday, June 15

MBP: Most Band-wagoning Player


1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. 6.. ..7; 7 titles. Prick.

While most of everyone have already laid their heads down in dismay, no matter how expected the outcome could have been, the San Antonio Spurs franchise as well as their fans from Texas and around the world raise their heads up in proud victory. Of all of the celebrating junkies in the middle of the court, one man in particular stood out from the rest. No, it wasn't Finals MVP Tony Parker; it was obvious he would get it anyway, the French cookie is unstoppable. It was none other than Robert "Big Shot Rob" Horry. While I, along with the rest of the world, have marveled at and accepted the immortal role of Robert Horry as one of the greatest clutch shooters in the history of the NBA as he gracefully drains wide-open 3-pointers at the final seconds of a playoff game like no one else in the world can do it, Robert Horry has now realized a new title to add to his ever-growing basketball resume.

Full Court would like to award Robert Horry, other than the fact that he looks like a less-suave Will Smith, for his ever-great decision-making and intuition as he has proven time and time again that it isn't all a battle of will, nor a battle of skill, nor a battle of heart, but can sometimes be a battle of the minds; and he has dominated ultimately in that aspect more than any other player has in NBA history. Robert Horry has led as an example to the band-wagoning class which is highlighted by some marquee names such as Gary Payton, Jim Jackson, and Antoine Walker to name a few. Please give it up for Robert Horry, the league's Most Band-wagoning Player! Applause.

It is such a huge shame that Robert Horry will go down in the history books as the player with the most championships than anyone non-Celtic. One of the greatest travesties in this scenario is that Robert Horry will have more championships than one of the greatest, if not the greatest, basketball players to have ever played the game in Michael Jordan. Throw Scottie Pippen, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Magic Johnson, James Worthy, or even the Celtic Larry Bird into the mix, and Robert Horry can claim that he has out-ringed all these great players. Robert Horry is the worst player ever to be named into the category of 'Most Championships Won', as he isn't even a tenth of the skill, talent, or will of any of the preceding players mentioned above. It is ridiculous. That is why Full Court has decided to award Robert Horry with the MBP, in recognition that no other player in the next century will be able to even closely mimic what Horry has achieved. Robert Horry jumps from team to team and analyzes his prospects very well. If he doesn't see a championship in the team's future within the next 3 years, he will throw a towel in the face of his coach, get himself suspended, and be traded to another team more to his liking. It was evident that Horry felt the foreboding of a Laker-team-meltdown, so he swam in the free agent pool and found himself in the hands of the San Antonio Spurs. What a genius. Robert Horry now has 7 championship rings, one more than Michael Jordan. He acquired 2 with the Rockets, 3 with the Lakers, and 2 with the Spurs. If Robert Horry decided to build a career out of gambling, he would be a filthy billionaire by four years from starting date. Once again, a huge congratulations to the worst, but smartest, player to ever enter the history books of the elite. It wouldn't be a surprise to see him surpass Bill Russell's championship count within the next 8 years.

Although it isn't hard to give credit to Robert Horry for nailing some of the most heart-breaking game-winners in playoff history, his "Big Shot Rob" reputation has been all but over-hyped. Face it, plenty of his game-winners weren't really necessary in the long run as the rest of his teammates would dominate the opponent either way had they lost that certain game or not. The perfect examples would be his game-winner against the Spurs in '95 and this year's 'So what?' 3-pointer against the Denver Nuggets. Believe it or not, even if Robert Horry was in Fiji enjoying a coconut, the Spurs would have won the very same way now anyway (not counting the body-check on Nash). The only countable game-winners that created an impact would probably be against the Kings in '02 and against the Pistons in '05. Other than that, Big Shot Rob is just another dead log in the woods. He is hardly used, and drains his so-called "cold blooded" clutch baskets with no defender within 27 feet near him; mainly because of the stupidity of the defense or unforeseen circumstances like the accidental tapping of a certain Vlade Divac to a certain wide-open forward standing right outside the three-point line.

Over-all, this is just the epitome of stupidity; but we have to accept what has just transpired and hope for someone more deserving and acceptable in the future to overtake Robert Horry in the championship-count to overshadow one of the greatest stains in the history books of the league. Robert Horry, kiss my ass!

140 comments:

Rhys said...

I don't deny he jumped ship in Houston, but then it seems like all players want off sucky teams anyways.

He went to San Antonio to be closer to his family and disabled daughter. He just chose the right Texas team to sign with, considering at the time, all three had bright prospects. Dallas with Dirk, Houston with Yao, and San Antonio with Duncan.

Shameek said...

Being a Houstonian, I know of Robert Horry all too well. When he was traded to the Suns, I imagine he felt slighted, since he complained about Houston's offensive strategy. In the press conference in Phoenix, he claimed that he was tired of doing "this" all the time. "this" was a hand motion used to represent a pass throwin into Hakeem. Yes, the Rockets were inside out, but when you have someone as great as Olajuwon, you'd think it works. Well, the egg was on Horry's face when he went to LA, and he did "this" all the time to Shaq, although he didn't complain about it then. Methinks it has to do with the fact that the Lakers won championships. Anyways, Horry, we loved you in Houston, but you're one of the biggest opportunists ever. Then again, maybe I'm just bitter because I wanted the Lakers to lose to the Kings that year when he hit another game winning shot.

Token Euro said...

Well you Sir, are the worst blogger Truehoop has ever linked to. It's pretty simple. Players that good usually go for the money or minutes or a certain role. He didn't.
Also, his work on the defensive end is as impressive as his game winners were.
PS: Danny Ainge is one of the most incompetent people in the history of basketball. He had it coming.

Anonymous said...

WOW, WHAT AN IDIOT. . . . . .

Anonymous said...

Wow... you really think hes that bad of a player? Did you not see his defense in game 2 or his offensive rebounds? Seriously.. You need to learn a little more about basketball.. Every team has to have roll players to come in and play when they are called upon. So, he doesnt do what Tim Duncan does. Pippen didn't do what Jordan did either.

Bailey said...

*sigh*

Jawschwah said...

wow...

I can only imagine you're writing this to stir the blog pot, because that's the only reason I could think of to justify your showing of such a lack of basketball IQ.

Mike said...

Congratulations, you win the short sighted fool award. Horry has chosen wisely, and made key contributions in each of the post seasons that he has played in (for example game 5 of the 2005 finals, the 3 in 2002 western conference finals amongst others). You cannot criticize him for this. Fool.

Rob said...

I have pondered this exact point myself during this year's playoff run... Robert Horry will have 7 NBA Champ rings. It's wrong somehow. There are other players that are all time greats that have none: Karl Malone, John Stockton, Charles Barkley... It doesn't seem right, but he is a smart guy, he was able to hitch himself to the right teams at the right time and give himself a rep... that's life.

Anonymous said...

I HATE ROBERT HORRY, I just think he is such a dirty person, and would not care if he got run over and suffered a misrable death...is that harsh I think not considering my teams have been on the oposite end of his misrable dumb luck for all these years. Go to hell!

Call Me Coach said...

This is unfair to Horry. While Horry is unique in ending up as a role player for some great teams, to put him in the same catagory as Payton, Walker, and Karl Malone is unfair. This is not a situation where a player says "take me,' and a contender laps him up. Good teams would not continue to acquire (and play) Horry unless he had something to offer basketball wise. And he certianlly does. Who are you to judge his contrabutions? There is a reason that every member of a team gets a ring, everyone has a contribution to make, be it in practice, garbage time, or at the start of the game. A championship is a team honor, not an individual one, and Horry deserves every ring he has.

Wild Yams said...

While there's some truth to this post, I doubt Horry decided the way to mastermind a trade to the Lakers was by throwing a towel in Danny Ainge's face. I also know that the reason he left the Lakers was because they stupidly didn't want him anymore, not because he preferred San Antonio. The Lakers didn't pick up his contract option in 2003 and made no effort to re-sign him once they bagged Karl Malone, so Horry was left to explore free agency. The Spurs offered him the mid-level exception (which was probably more than others would have), and since it was in Texas near his ill daughter, he accepted it. Looking back, the Lakers were absolute fools to let him go, if for no other reason than because they really could have used a backup power forward in the Finals that year once Malone got hurt.

John said...

Worst TrueHoop link in quite some time. It's ok, you jealous Suns fan, the Suns will win once they get a new defensive minded coach.

Cut from the NBDL said...

How do you blame a guy for wanting more? If all over the world people know that Robert Horry will drain a 3 pointer from any conceivable spot on the floor doesn't common sense dictate you keep a body on him? It's his fault the defense will slack of him? Dude is clutch and plays better defense than the majority of the NBA players. LA screwed the pooch when they didn't resign him since they were picking up Karl so I guess it's Robert's fault that San Antonio was willing to sign him? Lay off the HaterAde and drink milk instead, not only does it do a body good but it helps the mind think more clear.

Anonymous said...

"cheap shot Rob" deserves to be the reigning and all time best MBP. Another title that he deserves beyond a doubt, that was not mentioned is, the flopper. I mean honestly who flops more than him? Its not even close, give the credit to him, he deserves it.

SAM CASSELL said...

STUPID. HORRY HAS BEEN SUCCESSFUL BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN WILLING TO PUT ASIDE EGO AND REALISE THE BEST WAY TO GET RINGS IS TO ACCEPT A ROLE BEHIND OTHER GOOD/GREAT PLAYERS.

WHILE MOST PLAYERS CHASE MAX CONTRACTS AND PLAYING TIME WHICH THEY STRUGGLE TO LIVE UP TO, HORRY TOOK THE OTHER DIRECTION.

IN HIS EARLY DAYS IN THE LEAGUE HORRY SHOWED ALL-STAR POTENTIAL AND DREW COMPARISONS TO PIPPEN. NOW HE BRINGS MORE TALENT TO HIS BENCH ROLE THAN MOST OTHER PLAYERS CAN, AND SHOWS IT WHEN HE STEPS UP EVERY POST SEASON.

Anonymous said...

What is up everyone's asses? This post is recognizing and praising Rob's achievements. Everyone needs to chill out and applaud Robert Horry. Jeezus, lighten up.

Anonymous said...

I supposed you think Steve Kerr is a band-wagon player too?

What a moronic blogger in search of attention.

josh said...

If you're going to talk about Horry this way you should probably mention John Salley. Salley, like Horry, was a good player and an important team member on two championships won by the team that drafted him. Then he bounced around the league. But unlike Horry, Salley actually retired and then came back to join the Shaq-Kobe Lakers in order to win a few more titles. I don't have much of a problem with either of them, but if you're going to talk about the MBP of all time, that should be part of your consideration.

Henry Abbott said...

The reason why I linked to this blog was not to diss Horry, but to point out that he has made a good run of joining the team that was going to succeed next. Also doesn't it seem at least a little wrong that he has more rings than Jordan? He may be a great role player but there are so many more deserving players. He didn't carry any team on his back but has been the beneficiary of a good hand.

Anonymous said...

I totally forgot that horry was on the championship rockets teams but it is really sad when you think about all the great players who have never even won ONE ring but horry has 7. kg, malone, ewing, barkley, ai, nash, nique, just to name a few.

Anonymous said...

You sir are a damn fool. Robert Horry is directly responsible for some of those rings as he has made clutch shots at the end of many games, in tough playoff series no less. I don't care to come up with specific examples. But what I do know is that I, and everybody I know who knows anything about basketball, expect Horry to make any clutch shot at the end of any games against any team. He obviously does not make all of them, but the fact that when he finds himself in the situation people automatically think "oh this is it" goes to say more about Horry than any stat could. Besides, the Divac tap to Horry, which you described as something marginal at best, is one of greatest basketball plays we've been treated to in the last 10 years. Imagine this scenario: you are down with about half a second left on the clock when the ball mysteriously appears in your hands. You know if you miss the shot the other team is dangerous and will probably end up knocking you off and sending you home. The entire season including players' summer preparations, the camp, 82-game season, long playoffs, and a big war with Sacto Kings all hangs on you making a crazy 3 pointer with about enough time to just chuck the ball in the air and with several players flying towards you while trying to cover the sky.. Horry makes it. Lakers win championship that year.

You are a basketball ignoramus, please go blog on something like porn movies and knitting. Take 5-6 years to watch some basketball and learn some basics, then come back and start by reporting on summer league play before you make it into the big leagues again. Horry is a unique player in the history of the game and he has well deserved most of those rings.

fullcourt said...

Chill out. I never said Horry was worthless, I'm just pointing out that he's over-hyped, and a very lucky a-hole. Maybe we can say he deserved 2 or 3 of those rings, but the others were just pure luck. I think 'sam cassell' summarized everything up for me. While everyone was playing their asses out, Horry was playing under the radar and chasing after good teams. It was a smart move. I just don't understand why 'sam cassell' seemed so angry, that's exactly my point. More than half of the outbursts here in the comment box have totally no direct relation to my point at all, a lot of you are even getting angry at some things I never even said. Could it be because of the stress and anxiety of watching the Spurs win the Finals? I don't know, but a lot of you people need to get whatever it is up your asses out and chill.

Anonymous said...

How is he over-hyped? Has anyone ever mentioned him for his skills other than "Big Shot Bob." No one has ever made an argument for him to be on the all-star team, all-nba team, all-defense team, nothing like that. He has a reputation for hitting a few big shots and pickin up the pace in the playoffs.

Even this year, he made lots of small but meaningful plays. He does a lot of the little things, including annoying the other team.

How he picks his spots to try to pick off an inbound pass or an outlet pass. He might do it 5 times a game and have it work once if he's lucky, but he does lots of lil things like that to mess with the other team.

But yea, we should laugh at players who try to play for good teams. He should go for the money. Who cares about trying to win. Its all about the money.

Westside doug H-Town said...

uhhh....do you watch basketball?

Horry has contributed to every championship team that he has been on - most in a big time way.

THAT is why THOSE teams were interested in him.

fullcourt said...

Yes I do. Do you? Anyway, I don't think so. Like I said, he deserves around 3 rings since we can't ignore the fact that he hit big time 3's. Nothing more though, everything was luck. Besides, all I'm saying is it's a shame he'll be in the history books. I'm not saying he's the son of Chris Dudley.

Anonymous said...

It's a shame that you're actually allowed to voice your opinion on anything. Anyone who says Horry left the Lakers to win a championship with the Spurs (considering the Lakers had beaten the Spurs 3 years in a row at that point) is a complete idiot, so it's really difficult to take anything else you say seriously. And anyway, how the hell could you fault a guy who's main goal was to win a championship... that should be THE ONLY GOAL of every player. It's hard to feel bad for a guy like Karl Malone when you know that he would have NEVER taken a role like Horry's throughout his career, even if it somehow guaranteed him a championship... and why do you think that is? Probably because he'd hate to have to deal with idiots like you calling him a "band-wagon" player. That kind of mindset is exactly what's wrong with professional sports today... so thanks for providing us all an example. You make me sick.

The Sports Hernia said...

The biggest shame of all is he had to come out earlier this week and say his Spurs team would smoke those Bird and Magic teams. Bird and Magic could only go right? Ugh. Would have been nice if he kept his mouth shut on that one, can't get started on this.

We all know what he did as a player when he went to Phoenix where he didn't have Hakeem, Shaq, or Duncan being triple teamed so he could hit an open three, totally different player. He threw a towel in Ainge's face (although who could blame him) and by doing so easily forced his way out of town. So it is a little strange to say he has more rings than MJ.

However, I will say he does deserve credit for not just taking the most money and going to a horrible team which seems impossible to find at this point in any sport.

Imagine Sean Elliot never fails that physical and that trade between the Pistons and Rockets (Matt Bullard and Horry for Elliot) goes through? Could have totally been a different carrer for "Bob" because he stayed in Houston and the rest is history.

Anonymous said...

So maybe Horry is the type of player who NEEDS a guy like Hakeem, Shaq, or Duncan to pass the ball out of double-teams... what's your point? There will always be star players to attract double teams, and those star players will always NEED guys to step up and take advantage of this. Robery Horry plays his role perfectly, and it's sad that you people like you can't appreciate this. He's never been the leader of his team, but to say he "doesn't deserve" to win 7 championships is just asinine.

Anonymous said...

Ummm... blogger writes humorous post about an above average role player who will likely appear to future generations as a championship winning juggernaught due to aquiring 7 championship rings out of freak luck.

The internet misses the point completely and declares blogger "unfit for an opinion".

I love the offseason.

Anonymous said...

What a bunch of Robert Horry dicksuckers.

Anonymous said...

what's the deal? Horry is a Professional basketball player. Not everyone wants to be a SUPERSTAR. Go in, get the job done , go home. In so doing, he has helped teams win SEVEN trophies. Is it his fault that he doesn't hype himself? Maybe there are other priorities in his life.

Dixyland said...

Phoenix should try and get Horry - they may actually win a title then.

Why would you hate on a classy professional like Horry? Everywhere he goes he shows no ego and wants to win. What's wrong with that?

Anonymous said...

The people saying that he rightfully deserved all seven rings need to get off their knees and come back to reality.

Anonymous said...

What a biased and poorly written article, most likely by someone who doesn't know as much as they think they do about basketball. Definitely the worst article TrueHoop has ever linked to.

Anonymous said...

Horry does not only make big shots but makes big, clutch plays. He makes them at the exact right time just like with his big shots. He simply demoralizes other teams with most of the things he does. Obviously he has never cared enough to work really hard and try to be a 15 and 8 player he probably could have been, but it's undeniable that the role he has taken on is just as valuable. I can think of many situations where Horry will make a big dunk, a key pass, take a key charge, a big rebound, among other things. Also, at the age of 36, for a guy who some consider to have no game as it is (including this blogger dude), Horry had a monster line for the Spurs in the 2nd game vs Cleveland: 26 minutes, 9 rebounds, 4 asts, 5 blocks, and solid D. This is not a line of a towel-waver who gets lucky with a three here and there. This is a line of a guy who hustles, has game, and plays a key role on his teams. Also, do not forget that GMs on championship winning teams (which Horry seems to constantly be on) know a thing or two about basketball, and all of them seem to want Horry on their teams. Do not also forget that this guy has survived in the league for 14 seasons having averaged about 7 ppg over the span. It's obvious he brings many many intangibles to his teams and plays a big role anywhere he goes.

Besides, let's not ignore the guy's personality. Candid, interesting, non-apologetic, grizzled veteran who knows everything about everything NBA and gladly offers his opinions when asked or not, does not talk nonsense but rather offers substance in all of his interviews.. I think we need more of guys like Horry in the NBA and less wannabe thugs, who beat their chest and stare you down as a form of communication.

Robert said...

The way you tell it, it would seem that Horry just glommed on to championship caliber teams solely of his own deciding, like an unwanted barnacle on the hull of battle frigate in full sail. But you neglect to consider that said teams apparently believed he had something of value to contribute and wanted him on their teams. The Spurs in particular must have seen something in him. They'd already won two championships and were well on there way to being considered the model franchise in all of pro sports; they could have basically signed anyone they chose to, and they chose to sign Horry.

Hell, Steve Kerr has five rings too, and like Horry, he played his role and earned every one of them.

Anonymous said...

Ahhhh!! I have to come back for seconds. Why would anyone want to pick on Horry anyways? You have murderers, rapists, overpaid primadonnas, sociopaths, serial complainers, robbers, gangsters, and god knows what else in the NBA ranks and you pick on one of the nicest guys in the league. What a bad blog, come on man.. bad taste really. Why pick on a guy who averages 7 ppg for 14 years and still manages to hang on and be a factor and be wanted by great teams?

Some advice, next time you bash someone (it's obvious that you ran out of ideas, but here we are, talented readers ready to lend a helping hand): Antoine Walker (no explanation needed, plus he's godawful ugly), the entire Knicks roster with the excaption of Balkman and Lee, Larry Brown (makes more rounds than a prostitute.. come to think of it..makes exactly as many rounds as a prostitute), Kings management (the coach hiring/firing), Danny Fortson (how can you not hate him?), Gary Payton (you're in Miami, go play some bingo fool), Billy Donovan ( we didn't want you here anyways, punk), whoever makes most of the decisions in Atlanta (8 Fs, and then pass up on Deron and CP3), Kevin Garnett (for not having the balls like Kobe to ask out of a horrible situation.. if he truly cared about his fans he wouldn't feed them the misery of watching him in Minny), Jerry West (most hyped GM in history of NBA, yet he did a worse GM job in Memphis than Isaiah did anywhere, which is saying A LOT), Bonzi Wells (you deserve it, greedy fool), Radmanovic (you deserve it, greedy fool), Sprewell (you deserve it, greedy fool), anyone who doesn't think Arenas is a breath of fresh air in the NBA, anyone who doesn't want to play with Nash and Duncan, anyone who doesn't fear Scott Skiles, and last but not least - anyone who posts a blog entry dissing the great Robert Horry.

Anonymous said...

you my friend obviously dont know what having the ice water in your veins signifies horry hit shots that lebron is critiq'd for missing or not being able to make when needed he had five blocks in game 3,not to mention the shot to steve nash that was pure genious.

NCstumpf said...

To whoever said that the lakers had beaten the spurs 3 years in a row at that point was incorrect. The spurs beat the lakers in 2003 on their way to the title that year. Therefore is was not 3 years in a row.

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