Saturday, June 9

Omelette Du Fromage

After experiencing some bar-tending lessons with bottle flaring, drink mixing, eating big-mouth burgers and fries, and some history and trivia about how each drink came about and all that jazz (Ethanol is the alcohol used in drinks, that's all I can remember), I came home and I saw a picture of Tony Parker behind the grill in a restaurant in the deepest reaches of my medulla oblongata (which feels like a million needles are piercing through it right now). An old memory came back to me regarding NBA Jam that featured the young Tony Parker a few years ago, Tony Parker cooks! I went online and tried to find any information about his career in cooking and found nothing at all about it. All in my imagination? I don't know. Luckily, I found a consolation: another lost memory came back to me, Tony Parker raps! This is the first time I have ever seen a French-man rap. I have already heard about Tony Parker's rapping career in the past but never really knew there was a video. How about Duncan, Horry, and Barry's contribution in the video? Now for everyone's entertainment and the appreciation for Tony Parker for making the Spurs win every damn playoff game; feast your eyes on Tony Parker's rap video. Horrible isn't it? I cringe after every syllable. I'll go bury my head in the sand now.

The fun doesn't stop there though. Since I found his rap video, I thought to myself that I was on a roll so I ran over numerous sources and tried to find as many fun facts that don't really have much to do with basketball as possible about Mr. Tony Parker. Here are some things I found:

William Anthony Parker II. That's his whole name.

All The Queen's Men. There is a 2001 movie called 'All The Queen's Men' that casts a character named Tony Parker. The interesting part? He's gay (in the movie). A mockery of young Tony? Let's hope not.

"Well, actually, I'm a bisexual lesbian in a man's body... but it's more complicated than that."

Tony Parker is French. I found some geniuses online who still didn't know that by now.

Tony Parker took Eva Longoria to IHOP on their first date. The International House of Pancakes is the place to be for celebrity hookups and among other things, pancakes. After spending some time in Paris, Eva wanted to check out if her French, along with her flirting abilities, were still bearable. She shot Tony a "bonjour" in the locker rooms and I guess we all know what happened next (They had brunch in IHOP the next day, just so you know).

Tony Parker will be (or already is) Eva Longoria's female poodle. You get what I mean. The first factor that we have to look at is Eva Longoria is 7 years older than Tony Parker, and we all know how that turns out usually. Another thing, Eva Longoria is making ALL the wedding plans, currently scheduled at 7-7-07 after being canceled and moved a bunch of times by Ms. Longoria herself, and all Tony has to do is to say "I do". Sure, he's busy with the playoffs and all that nitty-gritty; all I have to say is "Yeah right". There's also this 'no-sex' policy that Eva implemented until they tie the knot in July, publicly announced by the honorary Man-show man Jimmy Kimmel, but Eva came on Ryan Seacrest's radio program to deny the whole thing.

Tony Parker loves Oprah. Tony Parker and Eva Longoria sat through the whole 20th anniversary DVD of Oprah. 17 hours. Influence by her highness, Eva Longoria. All I really have to say is: "Damn".

Tony Parker and Boris Diaw. The two french players have been long-time friends since even before coming to the NBA. They were roommates during the French National Team basketball camp.

Tony Parker is half-African-American and half-Dutch. He was born in Belgium, but raised in France. His father is African-American, while his mother is Dutch. In other words, he isn't really French. Right?

That's all I could really find. Know anything else about Tony Parker? Feel free to let me know. I feel like I already know Tony Parker like the back of my hand. Not.


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